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In January 2020, I promised myself that I would wear my hair better. Not so sad with my broken New Year’s resolutions (that is, “See more Broadway shows”), but when I carefully examine the size of my hair, I think the same thing every day. Can you really catch the camera fast? I want to see what it looks like.

Yes, I am suffering from anxiety-related hair loss, which is now the perfect sign for 80 percent of podcast ads. But when I went to a dermatologist a few months ago, I thought she would understand any experimental treatment she wanted and that she would be willing, so she only suggested Rogaine.

that’s it. I hoped she would give me some good or crystal that would fix my whole head and magically fix everything. I mean, I’ve read seven thousand articles about “Telegenic Influenza” – when you have a stressful situation and your hair is completely unbearable and peaceful – but that was all she did when I went to the right doctor. One product that everyone knows. At least she didn’t try to relax. I gave her a dandruff shampoo to make it look like we hit the problem in all directions.

When I repeatedly asked my friends if their hair looked thin, I realized that I was bored. (And emphasizing, how can you say so?) Complaining that a person with long hair now feels like less hair – Sleepy City. I mean, a lot more is going on.

But I can’t stop thinking about it. About a month into the epidemic, I realized that if I focused on the worst, my anxiety would not go away. So I decided to turn that stress into something small. Important Note: This is not a therapist-proven coping strategy. The next day I was very worried about a package coming. He came. Then he asked, “Why am I so worried?” I said. And the brain replied, “All the terrible plagues and meaningless deaths.”

Instead of letting go of my frustration, I focus on my hair loss and what it means. What does that mean?

When I was about to go to the bar, when I was a teenager, I had a two-hour conversation with someone who was doing my hair. I was in my teens; Even breathing was stressful. But stylists have always been very good. They screamed at my big curves and made other stylists come up with how thick they were. It made me feel good alongside the direct pain of pulling my hair.

For a while, at least I had my hair cut where I could not see my personality. Big Hair Who Am I? So, if we were to be honest, I would like it to be a “fat teenager who doesn’t know how to dress because he hasn’t read the size yet.”

As we all try to escape loneliness, thinking about self-love now feels like such a legacy to me. But before the outbreak, I spent a lot of time overcoming negative feelings about my body and making myself feel confident and beautiful. I spent much of my adult life trying to make sure I was as fit as my big hair. And oh man, did he take a big tire last year for all that growth?

That new self-love is not completely gone now, but it is burning on the side burner in silence, wearing woolen pants to look at on a computer screen all day. And in all these hair photos, it’s easier to think about the size of the skull than it is to look sad and alone.

And that brings us to the final spiral. Now my hair is thin, very easy to control. I can wear it easier than ever. My curves fall into place with just a little effort and a little style. My hair eventually started to cling to me, and it only took a lot of constant frustration! Also, since I am not interested in this product history and depression story, let me just suggest – Garnier Fructis Butter Cream.

Just as I admire good hair days, I worry that it will end. It may or may not be my “room”.

So I guess all I guess is for 30 years or there (maybe not as a baby) in one way or another is the big question I thought – how much does my hair express?

Does my large, bushy, uncontrollable hair represent the kind of vibration I can never return? Do I lose all my hair? Did my hair have a majestic time, and would I be completely bald from neutrality and with the characteristic scars I once had? And isn’t it entirely unfair that this is not just a tragedy and a waste of time?

My happiness and joy and my future happiness was once a permanent bald spot, or will it all eventually grow? And is there some, IDK, crystal or something that can only fix this?